IF F1 DRIVERS WOULD VOICE A SAT NAV

• Sebastian Vettel: No I will obviously not tell you where you should go. You didn't check the tyres pressure at the start. How can you break a record of fast reaching destination now? And it's so windy. It will slow you down so much.
• Mark Webber: Even my donkey would drive faster than you, fella. Turn right now.
• Jenson Button: Hey you did exactly what you had to! Amazing. You are almost there! Whoa, you did great.
• Fernando Alonso: 50 metres and then take the turn where you can take a great hispter photo of the setting sun.
• Lewis Hamilton: You should turn RIGHT and not left. This is frickin' ridiculous.
• Kimi Raikkonen: It doesn't interest me where you are going.